Today I attended my first Postnatal Depression group therapy session but I had to force myself to go. I did not sleep at all well and not just because Sebby had wedged himself in my arm pit again. I was kept awake thinking I’d be the only one to turn up and perhaps really, maybe I was better…..I just hadn’t realised it?! Nope? I didn’t think so!
I sat outside the venue for 10 minutes, sweating. Thank gosh I packed my ribena or else I would have been seriously dehydrated! I gave myself a quick pep talk telling myself that if I really don’t like it I don’t have to come back next week. Out the car, locked the door…..lost my keys, found my keys….floated through the doors and quickly realised I needn’t have worried. The women who ran the venue were lovely, totally understanding and it all felt very calm. No screaming babies, no patronising posters just smiling faces and a welcoming silent reception room.
I’ve decided not to blog what we talk about in the room as we made a contract between us so what is said in the room stays in the room. Instead I’ll hopefully be able to explain how it’s helping my recovery.
It has made such a difference already just being able to speak to other sufferers of PND, the feeling of isolation has significantly been lifted. I entered with the all too familiar dead weight feeling bearing down on my chest BUT I left with a smile….although I did cry on the way home. But through happiness and relief.
I must go to bed now. Night all xx
Untangled 